


the night with the abrecrombie hoodie, téa's purse, crabs, a dog suit, and spiked punch

by Puzzled_Shipper (yugimoto)



Series: downy unstoppables and other name brands [3]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Attempt at Humor, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Eventual Romance, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parody, Post-Canon Fix-It, Satire, angst with happy ending, atem gets wasted by accident, idk - Freeform, kind of, tea bashing (just a little)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:00:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugimoto/pseuds/Puzzled_Shipper
Summary: Seto Kaiba decides to host a Duelist Ball and the gang decides to go. Yugi finds himself struggling to impress Téa, and the night comes to a head as he deals with unnecessary drama caused by his friends' antics. Atem is just there for the snacks.
Relationships: Atem/Mutou Yuugi, Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner/Mutou Yuugi (one-sided), Mutou Yuugi/Yami Yuugi, implied one-sided prideshipping
Series: downy unstoppables and other name brands [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049669
Comments: 15
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

The invitation for the “Duelist Ball” was sent out a few weeks ago, taking place at one of Domino City’s finest banquet halls rented out for the evening by Seto Kaiba. Yugi was sure that this was all a ploy to corner Atem so that Seto could duel him, but he’d keep that to himself. 

Oh, Atem. There he was, staring at himself in the mirror. He’d been hesitant to wear a suit and tie at first, but Yugi thought he looked handsome in it. After all, Atem was originally planning to wear classic “Pharaoh” attire—Yugi quickly dismissed that idea. The event was black tie, with a surprisingly strict dress code. 

“Yugi…” Atem asked, hesitantly. “Are you sure I look—”

“You look  _ perfect, _ ” Yugi smiled. 

Atem uncomfortably adjusted his tie. “I  _ prefer  _ my kilts, in  _ my  _ day—”

“Okay, I understand! I know it’s a little out of your comfort zone—but it’s only for one night! We...we also don’t have to go, if you’re uncomfortable…”

“And miss seeing our friends? Absolutely not, Yugi! I’m sure we will have fun,” Atem turned to him with a smile. “...Can I wear my earrings at least?”

“ _ Yes,  _ of course.”

“And some bracelets?”

“ _ Yes.” _

“Can I also wear my cape?”

“...I...I  _ guess _ —”

“What about my lion’s tail?”

“This is not a furry convention, Atem!”

“A  _ furry convention?  _ Gods, Yugi, a lion’s tail is a symbol of  _ power  _ in ancient Egypt! Not this furry nonsense Joey partakes in.”

“Where the hell did you get a lion’s tail?”

“...Nevermind.”

Yugi glared at him before deciding to drop the subject—not only was their conversation going absolutely nowhere, he did not have the energy to listen to anymore stories of Atem in “his day” and Ancient Egypt.

“Okay, moving on.” Yugi checked his watch. “I think it’s about time we left! We have to pick up Tristan and Tea, too, remember?” 

“But I still have to—”

“No time!” Yugi grabbed onto his hand and dragged him out of the bedroom, only to unfortunately run into Grandpa Solomon Muto.

“ _ YUUGI!  _ Wait!”

“Oh, gods. What do you want Grandpa?” Yugi groaned, his whole face falling.

“I believe I have to bestow some grandfatherly advice before your night out, as your father has abandoned you on your doorstep, I believe it is only right I—”

Atem uncomfortably cleared his throat as Yugi groaned in clear annoyance. “Grandpa! Can we save this talk for later? I have to pick up my friends!”

“It’ll only take a second, my grandson! Now, remember, don’t drink too much, and don’t drink and drive, and maybe you’ll need to use one of  _ these _ ,” he winked, shoving a suspiciously concealed item into his pocket.

“What the—” Yugi glared. “ _ Grandpa!  _ I won’t need  _ condoms! _ ” He threw it at his Grandpa’s face. “This is  _ expired,  _ by the way!”

Atem’s eyes widened in fascination. “Why, this product is so small and convenient! In  _ my  _ day—”

“I don’t want to hear about how you used animal intestines as birth control!” Yugi did a double take. “And I said  _ no  _ lion’s tail! Put it away!”

Atem glared at his partner, but put it on the nearby table. He sighed dramatically. 

“Oh,  _ Yugi!  _ Remember to use your turn signals when you’re driving! I was in a severe accident last month and was nearly put into a coma because I made a left on red.  _ CROSSBOW, YUGI.” _

“Grandpa, this is why I took the keys away. I’ll see you later.” He grabbed Atem by the wrist and ran out the door with him. 

Solomon looked forlornly at his condom. “You’re not expired to me.”

…

Yugi shortly arrived at Téa’s house. Atem leaned over, honking the horn aggressively. “ _ Téa! _ ”

“ _ Atem,  _ stop! She’ll be out in a moment!” Yugi folded his arms over his chest, grumbling. “I think she wants to attend this ball with  _ you  _ more than  _ me. _ ”

“... _ Oh _ ,” Atem paused, “but  _ why  _ wouldn’t she want to go with you? Who wouldn’t want to go with you?”

Yugi blushed, stuttering, “She— _ ugh _ —she likes you because you’re the  _ cool  _ Yugi.”

“But I am not the other you anymore, aren’t I? I  _ was  _ a dead Pharaoh, but nonetheless, I am my  _ own  _ person now, she needs to understand. It doesn’t matter—if she was of interest to me, I would have sacrificed multiple animals by now. But that is not the case.”

“Atem—animal sacrifices are  _ frowned  _ upon, it is not even the norm to burn an animal for a love interest.”

“Do you understand  _ sarcasm,  _ Yugi?”

Yugi sighed, pressing his head onto the horn. It was going to be a long night. “Atem, half of the time I cannot even tell if you are making a joke.”

“Well, well!  _ Clearly  _ you need to research more of ancient Egypt.”

“...You’re joking now, right?”

“No.”

Yugi stared at him before deciding to take it upon himself to honk the horn repeatedly. “ _ TÉA! _ ” he screamed. He has not even arrived at the Duelist Ball and this was already becoming a disaster. He did not have anymore lavender oil to ease his stress—Atem already used all of it for his so-called “bath house” time. 

Téa finally arrived, rushing out of her house. She was wearing a strapless, fitted black dress—Yugi gulped—and she smiled at the two of them.

“Gods…” Yugi muttered, watching her approach his car. “How do I tell her how she looks…?”

“What do you mean? It’s simple, Yugi! Tell her she’s beautiful.”

“Okay,” Yugi smiled confidently. He got out of the car to open the door for her. “Wow Téa, you l—”

“ _ Atem!  _ How do you think I look?” She asked, climbing into her seat.

Yugi glared. “ _ Hey, Téa.  _ I just wanted to say that you look beautiful! _ ” _

Téa ignored him, scooting into her seat behind Atem. “Here, Yugi. Can you hold my purse?” 

“I am  _ driving,  _ Téa—and there’s plenty of room in the backseat!”

Atem sighed. “I will hold your purse, Téa.”

“Thank you, Atem, what a considerate  _ man  _ you are,” she smiled, eyeing Yugi. Atem uncomfortably grabbed onto her purse and held it in his lap.

Yugi sighed. “...Let’s just get this over with.” A week ago he thought this Duelist Ball was going to be fun, but now, it has already been a disaster...and they haven’t even picked up Tristan yet.

They were en route to Tristan’s house in uncomfortable silence. Atem was humming to himself, deliberately rummaging through Téa’s purse. “Interesting…” he whispered to himself, spraying her perfume onto his wrist. Yugi refused to turn on the radio, grasping the steering wheel in clear stress. 

“Atem…” he glanced over, “what the heck are you doing! Stop looking through her purse!”

“I was only briefly  _ inspecting  _ it in case she had any... _ snacks  _ or something.”

“Oh, don’t worry Atem! I packed your favorite cereal bar for this trip in the zippered compartment!”

“Téa, thank you!” Atem beamed, eagerly ripping into the granola bar. “Ah, this is the one with the pyramid on it! You’re right, it is my favorite!”

“ _ Atem!  _ There are granola crumbs all over the car! Stop eating! There’s literally going to be food at the banquet!”

“This is merely a snack for the  _ trip! _ ”

“What the hell? This is not an hour-long drive, you don’t need—” before he finished his sentence, he could see they already arrived on Tristan’s street. He partially wished he’d rode with Joey instead. Not only has Téa barely acknowledged him this entire ride, but Atem was acting more of an asshole than per usual tonight. 

Tristan was already standing outside on his front porch. “Guys! I’ve been waiting outside for you for over twenty minutes!” he cried. He was wearing cargo shorts and a pullover Abercrombie hoodie.

“ _ Too bad!  _ I can’t—what the  _ hell  _ is that outfit?”

“ _ Yugi!  _ If Tristan can wear an... _ Abercrombie  _ hoodie, can we drive home quickly so I can wear my Egyptian attire?”

“ _ NO! _ ” Yugi honked. “Tristan, go back inside and change  _ now!  _ Kaiba already hates us enough, we have to at least look nice!”

Tristan started to cry and ran inside. “ _ Mom! _ ” he screamed, which all of his friends heard clearly from their car. 

The awkward silence in Yugi’s car returned. It was unbearable. Atem quietly chewed his granola bar, where crumbs were spewing all over his white shirt and the car floor. “As you can see, Yugi, this is taking quite some time. I do not even need my sundial to prove that—”

“Shut up. I swear.”

“Yugi, please understand that that was a joke.” Atem rolled his eyes. Téa laughed a few beats later. 

“That was funny, Atem!” She said. 

Yugi groaned. “Oh my gods, at least we left somewhat early. I don’t want to be the last ones to show up.”

“Yugi,” Téa finally acknowledged him, “we  _ have  _ to be fashionably late!”

“I agree,” Atem said. “Drive back so I can change.”

“ _ No! _ ” 

Yugi gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

Tristan arrived twenty minutes later, wearing a ruffled and damp suit. It literally looked like it just came out of the washer.

“Sorry, guys! My mom just washed this for me. There were ketchup stains all over it.”

Yugi silently turned on the heat to the car to maximum. 

“Yugi! You have to turn down the heat, or my makeup is going to run!” Téa cried.

Tristan started to cry too for absolutely no reason. “My makeup is going to run too!” he wailed.

“Oh my gods. We are going now. No  _ snacks,  _ no  _ outfit changes,  _ and  _ no  _ history lessons about ancient Egypt!” 

Atem glared. “Is this directed towards me?”

“What do you think?”

Atem grumbled incoherently and slid into his seat. Tristan climbed into the backseat, accidentally hitting Yugi in the face as he did so. He was so damp, there was water trickling to the floor. He squeezed his damp tie, wringing it. “Sorry, Yuge-poo.”

“Oh, just forget it! Sure, go ahead and ruin the leather seats!”

Tristan shrank back into his seat. “Somebody’s crabby today…”

“Mmhmmm,” Téa agreed.

“Yugi is the king of crabs!” Atem added, patting him on the head. Yugi glared at him, before turning on the radio at maximum volume. He couldn’t listen to them anymore. He was ready for this stupid Duelist Ball. Hopefully Joey could keep him company. This had been the second worst car ride of his life. Atem continued to fish through Téa’s purse, munching on more snacks and pulling out random products.

“ _ Atem!” _

“Fascinating…” Atem murmured, clearly ignoring Yugi. “You have to always be prepared.” 

“Mhmmmm,” Téa agreed sagely.

Yugi rolled his eyes. “Put her purse away!”

Atem leaned over and pinched his cheek. “Now,  _ I  _ am the king of crabs! Pinchy pinchy!”

“I am  _ driving,  _ Atem!  _ Stop! _ ”

Tristan reeked of laundry detergent and mildew. The heat was not helping either. Atem decided it was also a good idea to spray Téa’s perfume all over his suit. It combined into a horrible odor. Yugi, in frustration, turned off the heat and opened the windows. He seriously wanted to throw up. Tristan screamed as the wind ruffled his hair.

“Hey! Quit it, you stupid crabby king! It took me all day to gel my hair, Yugi! You wouldn’t understand!”

“Oh my gods, I don’t care Tristan! I am literally going to suffocate in Téa’s perfume and your mildew stench!”

They finally arrived. Tristan stumbled out of the car, dirtying his damp suit. Téa stepped onto his back to protect her precious heels from becoming dirty. He screamed in pain. Yugi did a terrible parking job, practically dinging into another car. But in his defense, he was sure that he’d lost a lot of brain cells over the past hour. The valet yelled at him and took his keys, as he braced himself against the car trying not to vomit. The combination of the disgusting odor, the bickering, the fact that he’d have to go to this stupid event in a suit that was uncomfortable, and the fact that Téa had rejected him in every way had all joined forces to make him feel miserable. He should have decided against going. But now Atem looked like he was excited to be there. He sighed.

“Are you okay, Yugi?” Atem asked, pinching his cheek again. 

“Stop pinching me!” Yugi groaned. “I’m fine, okay? Let’s just get this over with!”

“Would you like me to carry you inside of the banquet hall?”

“I…” Yugi paused. “...No?”

“Are you sure?”

“...I’m very confused.”

Atem held his hand out for Yugi to take it. “That was mainly a joke, but you did look like you were about to keel over.”

Yugi’s face began heating up. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” Then he noticed that Téa and Tristan were a block away. “Wait, guys! Atem and I are the ones with the tickets!” He called.

Tristan wasn’t listening and stormed towards the entrance. “Let me in!” he screamed, his damp suit reeking of mildew. “Kaiba personally requested me, Tristan Taylor.”

Yugi sighed, eventually catching up to Tristan and handed over the tickets. “Kaiba didn’t personally request you, Tristan.” he grumbled. “He just wants to duel Atem.”

“He can duel me!”

“...No.”

Yugi braced himself and stepped into the Duelist Ball with his so-called friends in tow. It was an extravagant banquet hall with at least a hundred or so notable duelists. Yugi looked over at the side table to find his party’s designated table. They’d be at table D. 

“D?” Yugi frowned. “It must mean ‘D’ for Duelists.”

“ _ Actually _ ,” an all-too familiar voice stated as Kaiba himself crept in. He growled at Tristan’s disheveled manner of disgust. “It is  _ D  _ for Dorks. What in the absolute  _ hell  _ is your middle-class friend wearing?” He spat jerking his thumb in the direction of Tristan’s soaked discounted shoes from T.J. Maxx. Not to mention the fact that he was dripping all over the floor in his wrinkly fresh-out-of-the-washer suit. 

“I am wearing my Sunday best! My mommy used Downy Unstopables in-wash Scent Booster Beads in this load!” Tristan explained. 

“Your…?  _ Nevermind, _ ” Kaiba hissed. “My younger brother  _ Mokuba  _ even dressed finer than you.” 

Mokuba peeped up from behind Kaiba’s legs. Yugi thought it was quite odd, but smiled anyway. “Hey guys!” Mokuba smiled back.

“Quiet, Mokuba! Do not interact with these  _ dorks.  _ I am embarrassed to even  _ glance  _ at your damp friend alone. Please, try not to look any more foolish than you already have tonight—and Yugi, stay the hell away from Bakura! I know you’ll do something stupid to him!” Kaiba of course was referring to a few specific incidents where Yugi had gotten into physical altercations with the limey. 

“I’ll only do something stupid if he comes up to talk to  _ me, _ ” Yugi muttered. Kaiba tsked and strutted away, with Mokuba dangling on his legs like a baby monkey. 

“Wow, Kaiba sure looks handsome tonight!” Téa remarked. “What do you think, Atem?”

“...Um.  _ Sure,  _ very handsome, Téa.”

“That’s  _ not  _ what you’re supposed to say! You’re supposed to be jealous that I find Kaiba attractive! Ugh!”

“Atem!” Kaiba called from a few feet away. “I’ll be waiting.”

“...Waiting for what?”

“Ugh, it’s obvious!” Yugi groaned. “He created this whole elaborate ball with the  _ sole  _ purpose of dueling you!”

“Geez! This is some Great Gatsby shit going on here!” Tristan exclaimed.

Yugi sighed. He’d been doing a lot of that this evening. “I don’t know 

why Kaiba couldn’t have just bought you dinner first.” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever, let’s go find Joey.” 

“Atem, can you hold my purse?” Téa slammed the purse into his chest. “Thanks!”

The four young adults trailed off into the crowd, searching for Joey. Unfortunately, it was very easy to find him because he was wearing nothing other than a fursuit. It was the same dog costume that Duke had made him wear a few years ago.

“ _ Joey!  _ Oh, my Gods!” Yugi cried. “You’re supposed to be wearing a suit, not a  _ fursuit! _ ”

Joey shrank into his dog costume in embarrassment. “This was the only outfit I had! I thought I was going to be okay because Tristan told me he was wearing his Abercrombie hoodie! And I figured Atem was going to wear his lion tail!”

“ _ AHA! _ ” Atem screamed, whipping around to face his partner. “ _ Yugi,  _ if Joey can be his fursona, why can’t I have my lion’s tail? Can we drive home now?”

Yugi’s jaw dropped. He opened his mouth to say yes, as he was already done with this evening—and he thought maybe Joey could just drive Tristan and Téa home. But then Téa spoke up.

“No, Pharaoh! Don’t leave, you look very handsome!”

Atem sighed. “Well, if that is the case...I suppose we should stay. I  _ do  _ look dashing in this suit according to Yugi. And you, I suppose.”

Yugi gritted his teeth. He felt as if he was about to go insane. “Okay,  _ fine.  _ But  _ please,  _ Joey, try not to get caught by Kaiba. I think he would literally kill you for being a furry tonight.”

“But I’m not a furry! I don’t wanna be a furry! I—”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it!” Yugi hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. He did a scan of the room and noted that even Mako Tsunami, Rex, and Weevil were there. He wondered if Mai was around too. But he didn’t see Bakura yet. With Yugi’s luck, the limey would be at their table. 

“Where’s Serenity?” Tristan asked.

Joey rubbed at the back of his neck. “She said that my outfit caused her blindness to return and she ran off to the bathroom. She’s  _ fiiiine _ , just completely humiliated.”

“I’ll go check on her!” Tristan yelled, knocking his chair over as he stood up. Everyone stared as he ran to where he thought the bathroom would be.

“You stay away from Serenity!” Joey moved to get up, but Yugi glared.

“I said stay HERE! Heel, Joey!”

“That’s pretty fucked up, Yuge.”

“Pretty fucked up, Joey.”

“Make him do a trick!” Atem cried. “Roll over! Ahahaha!”

Yugi directed his glare to Atem. A group of other duelists turned and stared at their commotion. “Sit down.” He hissed. “Everyone just sit the  _ fuck  _ down before you embarass me more.”

“ _ Atem,”  _ Téa crooned, “Can you get the chair for me so I can sit?” 

Before Atem could react, Yugi aggressively screeched the chair back. “There! Just. Sit. Down.”

**_< <Yugi, you seem angry.>> _ ** Atem spoke through their link.

_ <<I *seem* angry?? I AM angry. I am so annoyed and it’s only been an hour and a half. Téa is ignoring me, and Tristan and Joey are...wearing what they are.>> _

**_< <I’m sorry, little crab. Would you like a hug?>>_ **

<< _ No!>> _

But it was too late. Atem did not listen for an answer. He held his arms out, and now it was obvious to anyone that the former pharaoh was offering Yugi a hug. Yugi relented and leaned into it, returning the gesture. This night couldn’t get more embarrassing, he’d might as well embrace it—and his partner apparently. 

In truth, he did feel better. Even though Atem ruffled his hair. 

“Awww,” Joey said. “Can I hug Yuge next?” 

“No…” Yugi said, realizing that people were staring at him again. “Maybe later, I don’t know.” His face was on fire. Atem crunched on another cereal bar.

“Would you like a bite?” Atem offered a half-eaten, crumbled bar to Yugi.

“Atem...there’s going to be food arriving here in a few minutes. I don’t need any snacks, and neither do you.”

“But...what if I don’t like the food offered at this ball?”

“I’m  _ sure  _ you’ll like the drinks!” Tristan suddenly screamed, slamming an entire bowl of punch onto their table.

“ _ Tristan!  _ Did you steal the punch bowl?” Yugi cried.

“What do you mean ‘steal’? I only saw it on the buffet table, and thought it would be easier to bring it here!” Tristan grinned. “Besides, Weevil said I could take it.” 

“Weevil?” Yugi repeated. When Tristan nodded, he chalked it up to Tristan either lying or Weevil egging on his friend’s antics. Or that Tristan was trying to antagonize the blue beetle. “Whatever.” 

“Delightful!” Atem chuckled. What is this punch? I enjoy the color. It looks like blood.”

“It’s fruit juice.” Téa supplied, striking Atem on the bicep playfully. 

Atem rose to pour a large glass of punch. “Ah! It is so...sweet. If the food is as exquisite as this  _ punch _ , I should have no problem.” He handed the cereal bar to Téa. “Thank you for the snacks, Téa. But I do not need them anymore.” He took another glass of punch.

Yugi bit his inner cheek.

Atem poured a third glass. “What?” He said, looking at Yugi. “The snacks have made me thirsty.” 

Yugi rolled his eyes. Then Téa and Tristan poured a cup. Joey already guzzled one and was onto his second. Some juice dribbled onto his fursuit. Serenity finally joined the table. Yugi had wondered if Tristan had gotten so distracted by the idea of drinking sugary fruit juice that he’d forgotten to go comfort her. “Hey, everyone.” She looked at her brother and her lip trembled. “You promised you’d change, Joey!”

“Wha—It’s not my fault our abusive dad burnt all of my clothes, Serenity!” 

Serenity ran away crying for the second time. 

Yugi sighed. “Joey, maybe you should go after her.”

“Yuge, you told me to  _ heel _ . Arf!” 

“I—are you serious right now?” 

Joey shook his head. “You’re right, Yuge.” He finally went after Serenity.

Now Atem was on his fourth glass and his face was looking flushed. Yugi stared at him, pointedly.  _ What in the hell is happening?  _ he thought to himself. He poured himself a cup of his own, recognizing the slight aftertaste almost immediately.  _ Oh, Gods. _

“ _ Atem!  _ Take it easy!”

“ _ Why? _ ” he slurred. 

“Ugh—that’s alcohol you’re drinking!  _ Tristan,  _ what the hell did you do?”

“ _ME?!”_ Tristan slammed his glass down, breaking it into shards. The red juice spilled all over the tablecloth. “I told you, Weevil gave this to me! Weevil! I didn’t do anything!”

“Hey, guys?” It was Mokuba. He seemed to have untangled himself from Kaiba and was looking perturbed. “Is everything okay? It’s getting pretty loud over here. Some duelists told me you’re being a...ah, disruption.”

“ _ Disruption _ ?” Atem slammed his fists onto the table. “ _ I’ll  _ show them a disruption—”

“Okay, thanks Mokuba! We’ll be quiet, I promise. They, ah...they’re just really...excited to be here…” he cleared his throat, ignoring Tristan and Atem drunken growls.

“...Um, okay!” Mokuba smiled. “Just be quiet!”

After he’d left, Téa took the opportunity to make a move on Atem. She’d had only a few sips of the “punch,” but nobody needed to know that. She, likewise to Tristan, were lightweights.

“Oh,  _ Atem.”  _ She said, putting a hand on his leg. “It’s so  _ enchanting  _ when you get angry like that.”

“I will never...do that...again.” Atem mumbled. He pinched her hand. “I’m king crab.  _ Pinch. _ ”  __

“Ow.” She retracted her hand as he reached for another glass. Yugi opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it. Surely the pharaoh knew his limits.

Soon, the food was ready to eat. It was buffet style, and Yugi honesty questioned whether Atem would be able to walk over there. He’d never seen the pharaoh drunk before. Surely the Ancient Egyptians drank? Well...certainly not jungle juice. Yugi realized that he should’ve said something earlier. 

“Is it  _ food  _ time?” Tristan slammed yet another glass onto the table, breaking it into shards. Joey had returned a few minutes ago and somehow was guzzling his fifth juice, seemingly unaffected by it. “Yeah, the food just arrived guys!”

“ _ Let’s go! _ ” Tristan’s chair screeched back, collapsing onto the floor as he stumbled to the buffet line. Atem  _ attempted  _ to stand up from his seat, but almost as quickly as he stood, fell back into his seat.

Yugi intervened. “Why don’t you stay here, and I’ll get you some food.” 

“Wha—”

“Here, drink this water.” Yugi said, handing him a glass. Atem gazed at it blankly and nodded. 

_ This is bad. Maybe we should go home.  _ They walked past the dance floor where many duelists were dancing. Once Yugi had two plates of food, they were interrupted.

“ _ Wheeler,”  _ the voice cut through the music. It was Kaiba of course. How could this evening get any worse. “I didn’t want to invite you at all, but  _ Mokuba  _ sent you an invitation out of pity. And you show up to  _ my  _ ball wearing  _ that?”  _

“My fursuit is  _ quite  _ stylish, thank you.”

“There is red juice dribbling all over it. What on Earth is that smell? Oh, it’s merely your own  _ stench  _ of failure.”

“ _ No, Kaiba,  _ it’s alcohol, because someone spiked the punch! Fortunately, I am a  _ tank,  _ so only Tristan, Téa, and Atem are wasted. So don’t worry, because I can take you down right here and now—”

“Did you say  _ Atem  _ is wasted? What—he’s supposed to  _ DUEL  _ me!” Kaiba roared. “Get out of my way, you stupid furry!  _ Guards! _ ” 

Joey woofed and ran on all fours away from Kaiba, the guards chasing him. Kaiba stormed towards the table ‘D’ which was covered in juice and glass shards. “What in the  _ hell  _ is going on here?!”

Yugi nearly dropped the plates he was holding. “Oh, my Gods...Kaiba, I’m so, so sorry—”

“ _ Where  _ is  _ Atem?” _

Yugi paled. “I—He was just here! Where could he have possibly gone? He can barely walk!”

“ _ WOOF WOOF! _ ” Joey answered. Yugi turned his head in the direction of Joey’s...call. Atem was at the bar, chatting with none other than Limey Bakura.

“Oh, hello Yugi!” Bakura greeted.

Atem’s head was resting on the counter. 

“Did you let him drink  _ more _ ?” Yugi openly yelled, not caring at this point who heard him. Even Téa had decided to drop her “I’m so drunk” act to look nervous. 

“He only had an iced tea!” Bakura defended. 

“Was it  _ Long Island  _ Iced Tea?” Yugi hissed.

Bakura shrugged. “It  _ may  _ have been. Atem, do you remember?”

Atem groaned. “Why’s theroom spinning…”

“He seems alright to me!” Bakura chirped.

“Bakura, you stupid  _ fuck! _ Get out of my way!” Yugi shoved him aside.

“Oh bloody hell, Yugi!”

“ _ Yugi,  _ what did I say?” Kaiba thundered. “ _ Guards!  _ Get this limey out of my sight!”

“What about the furry?” one guard asked.

“Have the furry mark his territory on this limey!”

Bakura screamed and ran away from the bar. Atem slumped over. 

Joey—who was still on all fours—crawled over to Kaiba and pawed his leg. “Kaiba, first of all, I am not a furry. Second, I think Atem got so drunk was because of Weevil, not Bakura. The punch was spiked with Everclear.”

“How do  _ you  _ know what it’s spiked with?” Kaiba glared.

“It’s my alcoholic deadbeat father’s drink of choice!” Joey woofed. Serenity, who had worked up the nerve to see her brother, showed up only to see him on all fours talking about their shared childhood trauma. She ran away to the bathroom for a third time, crying.  
“WooooOooooOOoAAaaHHhh! I am _soooo_ drunk!” Tristan interrupted. “I am going to go flirt with Serenity now. In the baaaathhhrooooom.” He staggered in the direction of the ladies’ room. Again. 

“Téa, please follow him.” Yugi said. 

Kaiba glowered at Joey. “I think it’s time for you and your little dweeb friends to leave. The cheerleaders and you weren’t welcome here to begin with!”

“Oh yeah?” Joey rose to his back legs, thrusting a finger into Kaiba’s chest. “Then why’d ya add a plus one to our invitations?”

As they bickered, Yugi went to Atem’s side. “Hey, are you okay?” He pinched Atem’s cheek as his other half had done to him earlier. “King of crabs?”

Atem groaned in response, and squeezed Yugi’s hand. “No.”

Yugi realized that his partner was looking green, and led him away from the chaos to the men’s room. They avoided Tristan and Téa who were sitting outside the ladies’ room talking to Serenity through the locked door.

Then Yugi watched as all of the cereal bars Atem had eaten resurfaced—thankfully into the toilet. The pharaoh was sobbing as he threw up. Yugi’s heart sank into his stomach. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He rubbed his partner’s back. 

“The iced tea…” Atem gasped, “didn’t taste like  _ tea. _ ”

Yugi hushed him, “It’s okay, Atem...it’s okay.”

“I wanted the  _ snacks! _ ” he cried.

“We’ll...we’ll get you snacks, okay?” Yugi pressed a kiss softly into his hair. “I promise.”

Atem sheepishly wiped his tears with his sleeve, grasping onto Yugi’s hand tightly as he stood up. Yugi led him towards the sink, where Atem quickly splashed water onto his face and rinsed his mouth. 

“ _ Atem! _ ” Kaiba roared. “I said I was  _ waiting!  _ It’s time to  _ DUEL!” _

Yugi turned, glaring. “Kaiba! Can’t you see we’re busy? I think you’re going to have to reschedule, otherwise it wouldn’t be an honorable duel. I mean,  _ look  _ at him!”

“Pinch...pinch…” Atem mumbled, resting his head onto Yugi’s shoulder for stability.

Kaiba stared. “ _ Fools. _ Thank you for reminding me how intoxicated he is. I believe you dweebs have overstayed your welcome.”

“Kaiba, could you at least send a car for us? Joey definitely drank too much! And I can’t legally fit everyone in my car.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Would you do it for me? Or for Atem?”

Kaiba hesitated, staring at Atem, who was mumbling incoherently about “crabs” and “sand castles” and “snacks”. He went red in the face. 

“...No.”

Yugi sighed. “...I guess I’ll go round up the gang and cram them into my one car. Hopefully, we don’t end up in a tragic accident _. _ ”

“Don’t worry, dweeb, Wheeler is a dog. You can strap him to the hood of your car if you want him to live out his dead deer fursona, or throw him onto the floor.” 

“....”

“Just leave!” 

“We are!” Yugi wrapped his arm around Atem to help him walk—hopefully that’d be enough, or else he’d have to carry him—and pushed past Kaiba. He figured that he could go to Mokuba for more help, but at this point he just wanted to get everyone home as soon as possible. Yugi gathered the trio who were near the bathroom—Serenity had finally emerged, mascara smearing down her cheeks. Tristan also had mascara plastered all over his face. His fake eyelashes were also drooping off. Téa was frantically digging through her purse, but only found cereal crumbs. 

“Guys, we’re leaving.” Yugi sighed. More than half of them were crying. He wondered if Joey was too. “Serenity, Téa...do either of you feel up to driving Joey’s car? Or at least  _ sober  _ to drive his car?” Yugi said, addressing the two young women. 

“ _ Yugi,  _ I’m drunk! What do you mean we’re leaving?” Téa yelled, tears began forming in her eyes. “I didn’t,” she sniffed, “Even get to dance with Atem! You ruined my night Yugi!”

Atem stumbled and nearly fell to the floor, and Yugi had to grab him with both hands.

“I don’t know how to drive. My brother was a very bad teacher.” Serenity said through her sobs. She started crying harder at the mere thought of Joey in his fursuit.

Yugi sighed. “Okay...okay...We’re just all gonna get in my car. We can fit everybody. Let’s get Joey.” 

Joey was barking and running through the banquet hall on all fours. He had a prime rib in his mouth, and the kitchen staff was chasing him, screaming. 

“JOEY!” Yugi screamed at the top of his lungs. “Get over here!  _ Heel _ !” He didn’t care that everyone was staring at him. Weevil and Rex were crying of laughter and filming it all. He didn’t care that he was on the brink of tears too. He took a deep breath. Finally, Joey joined him.

“Sorry, Yuge. I just don’t like when people call me a dog, so I acted like one to show them that I’m not one.”

Yugi did not respond. He instead kept walking, making sure Atem was still moving as well. He was considering picking him up, but was sure that his arms would tire. The six young adults finally got to Yugi’s car. 

Yugi lifted his partner and buckled him into the passenger seat. “Figure out how the rest of you are gonna sit. I don’t care.” 

“ _Atem_ ,” Téa cried. “Can you hold my—”  
“ _No,_ hold your own damn purse!” Yugi shouted. “Can’t you see he’s absolutely wasted?”

“‘M not  _ wasted, _ ” Atem slurred. “...’m...King of  _ Crabs! _ ”

“...Sure, okay. Téa, get in the fucking car or I’m leaving you here!”

“Damn, Yugi’s popping off tonight!” Tristan laughed. 

“Tristan, I swear I’m so close to ripping those stupid fucking eyelashes right off your face!” Yugi screamed. “Now get in the car!”

Atem started to cry again. Yugi sighed and patted him on the arm. “Serenity,” he said, why don’t you and Téa take the window seats, and Tristan can take the middle seat. Maybe Joey can lie on the floor...To show that he’s not a dog.”

They all nodded and obliged. Yugi told Atem that he could pick the radio station. It was some kind of talk show that was either in Spanish or French, but at this point Yugi didn’t care. The rest of the passengers remained relatively silent until they were dropped off—Joey was whimpering in his fursuit the entire duration of the car ride. Yugi only increased the volume of the radio.

Atem was swaying in his seat, mumbling about crabs. Serenity was crying to herself, Tristan was trying to reapply his false eyelashes, and Téa was obnoxiously eating granola bars, leaving crumbs all over Yugi’s car and into Joey’s face. 

Yugi screeched to a halt at Tristan’s house. “Get the fuck out!”

“But, Yuge, this isn’t my house!”

“I don’t care! Call a cab!”

“Damn! You’re being mean tonight!” Tristan crawled out of the car, his suit leaving filthy soap suds all over the seat. 

“I know! It’s because you’re all being so asinine. Except Serenity, I guess. You can stay. I’m not going to send you out alone. Even though it’s Domino City, it wouldn’t be nice to send you, a young woman out alone, especially since you’ve been having as bad of a night as I have.”

“But, Yuge! I’d walk her home.” Joey growled, baring his teeth. 

“But Yugi! I also am a young woman.” Téa said.

“AS I SAID! GET OUT!”

Atem moved to unbuckle his seatbelt. “No,” Yugi said, grasping his hand, “I didn’t mean you. We’re going home.” 

He watched as everyone sans the exceptions left the car. Yugi then drove Serenity home, and she thanked him for not wearing a fursuit. 

Finally, Yugi and Atem were able to go back to their home as well. And Solomon was waiting for them. 

“Yugi! Pharaoh Atem! Did you come back for that condom after all?”

“ _ Grandpa!  _ Look at Atem! What the hell do you think?”

“...Was it Joey who spiked your drinks my little grandson?”

“No, it was stupid Weevil. Tristan was dumb enough to take the punch bowl from him. We didn’t realize it was spiked until Atem had five drinks or so.”

“Silly grandson. Can you still close the Game Shop tonight?”

“No,  _ Grandpa!  _ Look at Atem! Why are we even open still? Ugh!”

Atem dry heaved and Solomon looked at him with disgust. “Okay, Grandson and Adopted Grandson. I’ll close the game shop, then.” He waddled over to the door and flipped the sign. “There we go!” He said. “Now it’s time for my stories. I’ll be in my room.” He rolled over to his bedroom. 

“...Okay, goodnight Grandpa.” Yugi shook his head. “C’mon, Atem, maybe you should have some water…”

“I want  _ SNACKS!” _

“Are - are you even hungry?”

“...No,” he answered sheepishly. “...but I want  _ snacks,  _ Yugi.  _ Snacks. _ ”

Yugi ground his teeth. “What kind of snacks?”

“ _ Snacks! _ ”

Yugi sighed. “Okay, let’s start with this snack.” He handed him a glass of water. Atem nodded, accepting the offering. 

“Yuuuugi,” Atem said, looking at him with his puffy crimson eyes. “Wh...If we were still at the ball would you dance...would you want to dance with me?”

Yugi paused. Flustered, he answered, “Of course I would dance with you, Atem.” He smiled—he hadn’t smiled much today, and it felt good. “I...I know I was so obsessed about Téa noticing me tonight, but... _ well,  _ she made it pretty clear tonight she has no interest in me at all. I think that crush had been dying out for a long time, and tonight just confirmed it.”

“...Oh,” Atem frowned. “...’m sorry, little crab…” he took another sip of water. “Pinch.”

And he was pinching Yugi’s cheek again. 

“You’re very warm…” Atem said, patting Yugi’s cheek with his palm. Yugi was definitely blushing. 

“Yeah…” 

“You’re turning red like...like a crab.”

“I know.”

“...Can...can we have snacks now?”

Yugi’s stomach growled, he also hadn’t eaten anything since earlier in the morning. It was no wonder he’d been extra irritable. He even felt slightly guilty he screamed at Tristan earlier. Not so much Téa. “...What  _ kind  _ of snacks?”

“Not cereal bars…” Atem said. “I…’dunno.” 

Yugi thought back to Atem’s favorite foods, favorite dinners, favorite  _ snacks _ —he didn’t know how hungry Atem was, but he figured some protein would help to absorb the alcohol. He’d gladly make his partner something to eat, but he knew that his clumsy grandpa hadn’t been to the grocery store. So, he reached for his phone and ordered a pepperoni pizza. Atem had been fascinated by the processed meat, and Yugi was sure that’d count as a  _ snack  _ in his mind.

Atem hugged him. “I love pizza. What a lovely...snack! I…” He squeezed Yugi tighter. “Mmmmmm.”

Yugi patted Atem’s back and even returned the hug. As the hug progressed, he ran his fingers through the drunk pharaoh’s hair.

“Are we dancing, little crab?”

“Sure.” Yugi blushed. Atem swayed back and forth and Yugi held him tightly,partially because he didn’t want him to fall, and partially because he just  _ wanted  _ to. How long had he been crushing on the Pharaoh? He thought back to even earlier in the day when he’d seen Atem in his suit. Who knows? He’d just been oblivious to it. Of course, right now wasn’t the time to start his confession, as Atem was clearly wasted, but tomorrow was a new day. 

Then Atem kissed his cheek and pinched his arm. “I love you.” 

And Yugi, despite his resolve to wait said it back. But he’d be sure to say it again tomorrow. For tonight, they’d just eat their pizza, and he’d make sure Atem got to bed—laying on his side of course—without falling down.


	2. art!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> art done by daringidiot :)

[](https://ibb.co/hgLrn5G) [](https://ibb.co/fx7bk29)

Tristan Taylor the fashion icon. Art by daringidiot~


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